Yes, just like GLaDOS, this blog is indeed ‘Still Alive’. And while the Cake is not a lie, it remains to be seen if I indeed can have my cake and eat it too.

Much changes here at the Edge, together with the long awaited upgrade to WordPress 2.5 comes a new Theme and, hopefully, a little more simplified site navigation experience.

A quarter into the new year and you have no idea the amount of frustration I’ve been fielding due to this word constipation as a friend puts it. After awhile, I simply had to walk away and not allow myself to dwell on this for too long, hence all the neglect that does nothing to break the hold of the lack of content appearing here.

But as it always is with me, while I may walk away, I always come back. In one form or other.

The funny thing about change; as it happens you always hope that it is for the best. That’s natural. And thus it’s logical to assume that for something to get better, you have to change it in some way. Be it a change in job, mindset, habit or responsibility.

And so here I am, once again on the precipice of a major life change and as usual, I said to heck with it and just front load the bugger with even more changes, like re-vamping the Edge and in the above mentioned areas. Best to get it all out of the way together in one shot and see what sticks.

I’m back Baby. And the party is just beginning.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I guess that’s one disadvantage of having a computer geek girlfriend. Don’t think it would stop me though.

P.S. For those that actually still care, sorry for the lack of updates again.

I’m feeling better about it now of course, but every once in awhile I still kick myself for what I see to be a really silly mistake. It’s just one of those things that will always be that “what if” kind of thought, that group of events that you will regret for a long time.

Maybe I should start at the begining.

The beginning of June marks the renewal of contract for the customer account team that I am attached to at work. So as it is usually the case, customer has decided to try to push for a more experienced level of support while still trying to cut down on cost. At the point in time, it was still not confirmed if this new contract would be implemented, but if it did it would most likely result in a decrease in manpower and thus an increase in workload while still keeping at the same or even less pay (which is what actually happened in hindsight) . So from that, disgruntled thoughts started to open up to other possibilities on the job market. Which is actually quite bullish at the moment in the IT field.

It was during an IM conversation with Vicki where she mentioned that she had attended the Google Singapore press conference as part of her work. It was announced during the conference that Google had indeed opened a local Singapore office and that they are hiring locally. Thinking nothing much of it other than curiosity as I’m a huge Google fan, I check out the job listings and lo! there is actually something that I am qualified for. Making mention of the fact to Vicki, she then encourages me to actually send in my resume; no harm done and you never know what could happen. Feeling elated that someone would actually believe that I can make it in such a big name company, I hasty updated my CV, cranked out a cover email and sent it off, knowing that Google gets 3000 resumes a day.

And of course promptly forgot about it over the weekend.

I get the reply that anyone who knows story cliches are sure to see coming, about a few days after that weekend. Of course I promptly go through roof. It is Google after all. Almost immediately, I reply back stating that I would be happy to do the phone interview with their recruiter located in New York, giving the days and timings that I would be most available, even thought they would require me to be up past midnight.

Eventually, after a slight delay, the night of the phone interview comes around. He gracefully explains that usually Google holds 4 to 5 rounds of interviews, mainly phone based ones till the final few walk-ins. And straight away the nerves start and even the opening causal conversation about my views on computing and about the job scope doesn’t help to ease it. It is Google after all. Then the technical questions start and I fumble and make several easy mistakes, thereby closing the deal against my favor.

I was depressed after the fact (as is usually how I react to stuff) and all those videos about all the free food in Google did nothing to help. Frankly I should have spent more time brushing up on my underused System Administration skills. The problem was not really knowing what to focus on. And even if I did pass that first round, I was bound to get pwned in the next few rounds. I’ve read around the net and there are high level people in their area of expertise who do not make it all the way either, although they do get much further. Sad as it may seem, I have to say being in such good company helps alot.

The best benefit is the wake up call that such a learning experience provides. Get humbled enough and hopefully you will pick yourself up and strive to improve in that areas that you are lacking.

And I intent to.

I choose this symbol because, since young, I have firmly believed in the mindset and attitude that this community follows and stands for. It is also something that I am constantly striving toward and also a source of frustration (which any good driving force should have some).

It has coloured my views on software (open-source), on OS’s (Linux) and even music. Least to say, it has also sparked my interest in computing in general and why I like to tinker and wonder and explore…

The source of frustration, ironically, stems from the fundamental skill of this community. I can do it, have done it, have been taught to it and do enjoy deploying the skill from time to time. But it’s a skill, that I feel, I am not at a level that I should be. Especially at a professional level. And all attempts to improve in this area has proved…frustrating.

In any case, this is a good reminder to not let the skill totally die and that I should still continue to work on the other areas that work together to unify this community.

• Actually write a full blog post instead of lousy “todo lists” and Twitters
• Categorise and upload music into my new iPod
• Analyse possible mix tracks with Torq which takes awhile
• Study my LPIC textbook
• Catch up with friends on Second Life
• Be able to Game abit; especially as I still have my WoW account going
• And finally, get some sleep

That’s all not including the stuff that I don’t want to do but have to anyway.

The good news is that I did manage to meet up with quite a few friends over the week or so. But each time, someone will remark that I look terribly tried and that would somehow change the mood of the whole outing. Like they don’t want to say or suggest too much stuff because they are concerned that you need rest.

So yeah, that last line is a doosy…

…pity my bio-clock is so messed up that I just can’t cross out that line.