*sigh* After reading DebbieC blog I really feel bad about not posting in so long. Really do deserve to be beaten about on the head for it. I mean I know I tell myself I only write when I have something really to write, but looking at my last few posts, well there is nothing really outstanding about them. They are not long essays on the decay of our world’s moral fibre or things along those lines. They are simple observations at that point in time from a guy who just simply wants to share it with people. It is something that can be done at almost any point in time. So why can’t I?
I guess everyone who has a blog has one point or another wonder about why we bother to try to update it. For me it’s a little different. I know why I want to. But I wonder at why I don’t do so. Is it some commitment thing? Not surprising coming from a guy, but I never thought I would have a problem in this area since one of my goals in life is to be comitted, for life, to someone. So why can’t I be committed to such a simple thing as putting a few lines up here? If I can’t even commit to this, how can I reach my goal?
It’s not the first time I have started something and lost steam along the way. My first web site was abandoned after a month and left to rot for almost 6 years. I didn’t even take it down until I moved the blog to this server. I have tons of unfinished stories and ideas for stories, incomplete designs…all flashes in the pan. I can’t even complete a computer game from start to end anymore and books I blaze through in the fastest time possible, ignoring other stuff, only to set the book aside and never touch it again when I’m done.
Things need to change. And I’m glad I can see it.
But the focus shouldn’t be just on me. Everyone who is committed to something should wonder…”why am I doing this? Is this what I really want? Or am I doing so out of obligation or resignation? If It is out of duty, then do I still believe in it?”
Knowing what we want is hard enough, reaching it is even harder still, but even if we take the first steps towards it, may we see it to the end, not only to the end of the goal, but to the end of our best that we put in it.
